I did ten push ups this morning.
It had been a long time since I didn’t and I pretty much lost all of my progress from before.
When doing the first two, I realized that I had been doing most of them wrong…
I had stopped because my wrists hurt.
I thought I’d rather lose muscle than ability to type and write and do most things with my hands 🙂
As I started pushing, I realized the weight was actually coming from my torso this time.
I had been doing it all wrong.
I wasted my energy away.
And most of all… I didn’t know I was doing it all wrong.
I have never felt like I needed a personal trainer or anything.
After all, these Youtube videos seem just right. And it’s free!
The problem was, I now realized: they just didn’t know who I was, how my room is, how I’m not a professional level fitness coach.
As an amateur, there were things high class personal trainers could not get: they were too high up in the game to remember silly beginners’ mistakes.
I wish I had some guidance to stop wearing myself out… and eventually giving up because my wrists were fed up with the weight they had to lift every single time.
I consider myself very lucky to have found the answer through luck (I basically positioned my hands in a different position than usual because I was too lazy to tidy up the room just for 10 pushups!).
I just wish I had been told that I wasn’t doing it the right way from the very start!
What that means for your French learning
You might not even be aware of the pains you’re making yourself go through.
And I want to emphasize this: it is not your fault.
Just like it wasn’t my fault that I didn’t know how to position myself – I was trying to impersonate these guys who were just too advanced to know that it isn’t so obvious what to do as a complete beginner.
You live, you learn. Right.
But there is a way to learn faster. There is an easy way to avoid obstacles later along the way. At that stage of your learning, just like me, you didn’t even know there was something wrong.
Things that are thought of as ‘basic’ or ‘obvious’ simply aren’t.
The words ‘pushing up’ are not as obvious as they might seem – to the untrained eye.
And again, it’s not your fault.
For your French learning, this could mean:
– you never knew gender (masculine/feminine) was to be learned as a combo with an article (la table, ma table, cette table), as opposed to learning the gender on its own
– you never knew French intonation mattered, and you spent hours/days/months, years working your French ‘r’, thinking it would make a difference
– you never knew there were simple exercises, and you’ve spent too much time on exercises that you thought were helpful because they seemed complicated. You just didn’t know the information wasn’t relevant to your overall progress.
And again, it isn’t your fault.
The lesson is this:
Just a little guidance was key.
In my case, it was self-guidance lol.
But yeah, if I just knew that one simple, ever so simple trick – how much time and pain it would have saved me! 🙂
Now what do you think, should I get a personal trainer, or just keep going now that I have found the right guidance?:)
Seriously though, what is a simple trick you didn’t know, then were made aware of, that boosted your understanding of French – or boosted your French speaking skills overall? What’s the simplest thing you wish you knew years before you started learning French?
Share in the comments below! 🙂
Download your free ebook now: THE 3 PILLARS OF FRENCH LEARNING
When I was more regular with my push ups, I would say things like:
– ‘It’s really hard taking it to the next level’ (reaching that threshold of say, 20 or 30 push ups)
– ‘Doing push ups in a hard thing to do because… ‘
Then I would go on about more or less rational or technical reasons:
‘You have to support all of your own weight’
‘Your wrists are put to the test, rather your torso’ (I actually did believe that!)
‘Pushing up after pushing down is more difficult because you are being faced with gravity’ (well maybe this one’s true but nonetheless a strange excuse…)
Here are a few things that I’ve heard French learners say:
– ‘I can’t get above this level of French because I haven’t managed to get around this grammar point’
(for example, I cannot be fluent in French because I haven’t gotten around the subjunctive yet)
– ‘Learning French is a hard thing to do because…’
Then they would go on about more or less rational or technical reasons:
‘The vocabulary is very different from English because it is a Romance language’
‘You need to master all aspects of grammar because the French love grammar’
‘If you want to speak to French people, you need a perfect accent or they’ll ignore you’
‘English speakers are terrible at learning French, it’s a fact’
Again, it’s not your fault.
Everyone has this idea that their beliefs must be true, because that’s what they have experienced. Like I thought push ups were intrinsically difficult – I didn’t know my technique wasn’t right, or maybe nobody wanted to hurt my feelings telling me I was doing it all wrong…
Also my experience learning English taught me that the mindset made all the difference.
An English grammar textbook can be just as confusing as the next French grammar textbook. I’m not saying that all grammar books are ‘wrong’. I’m saying, they can be ‘confusing’, to say the least.
Again, the mindset makes all the difference.
A grammar book might have been made by high-quality academics.
The problem is, they have probably forgotten how frustrating things can be when you are only a beginner at something.
And even as an advanced beginner (which I would consider myself to be with my push ups ability…), there are things you simply haven’t realized yet.
And one day, you’ll experience that ‘click’, Eureka moment when all things make sense instantly.
That doesn’t mean you have to sit there and wait for that ‘Eureka’ moment to come.
How could it be your fault? It’s tempting to go for that option, when you’re not being aware of the alternatives around.
For people who learned (or tried to learn) languages before the internet (I was one!…), things were tougher indeed.
Learning French was damn difficult – only because of the lack of available resources and the time-consuming aspect of it.
No alternatives were to be found outside the bookshop clerk, and the local library – if they even had a French learning method!
A good old dry French grammar book and an English to French dictionary was all you needed… But for what results? What was the price you had to pay for that?
Feeling confused, feeling like you’d never get there, like you’re going to need to pass on the experience of becoming a fluent French speaker?
Think about it, has anyone you know ever become fluent in French just from studying grammar and dictionaries at the library? If they did, hats off. But my guess is they probably did more than just study – or they’re trying to ‘play it cool’, saying ‘I just studied a few books, you know…’ 🙂
In very rare cases, they could have an extraordinary ability to learn (not just languages generally).
- They had French relatives to practice with and ask questions to.
- They took a trip (or regular trips) to a French speaking country.
- They became obsessed with French and made it a part of their daily lives
- They were passionate about all things French, which became their motivation to learn (a French singer, a French movie star, etc.)
- They invested more resources (more specialized books, studying phonetics to perfect their pronunciation, etc.) into trying to go over the obstacles that were stifling their progress.
What that means, once again is: it’s not your fault.
Just like students of French who eventually became fluent didn’t because of sheer luck.
They worked their way up to the top, taking baby steps, and aware of which steps they needed to take, and in what order, as well as not to do in order to avoid confusions later in the learning process.
Most likely, they have been made aware of all this by a French teacher or tutor.
Getting past that feeling of guilt for not learning French ‘the right way’, or not having put enough ‘effort’ into it is crucial to starting (or starting again), and keeping that motivation alive.
Who wants to live with guilt, right?
Remember:
- It’s not that you didn’t make the effort, it’s that you weren’t aware it wasn’t the best approach
- It’s not that you need to work harder, it’s that you need to work smarter
- It’s not that you haven’t gotten around the theory behind the subjunctive in your grammar book, it’s that understanding it simply won’t help much with your efforts to become a fluent French speaker.
- It’s not you, it’s the approach you are taking.
Learning French, like any language, is a long-term thing.
(see: Fluent in French in a year?)
As you set off, you know it’s gonna be a long ride.
A ride that can change your life.
I’m not saying it’s like having a child, but it’s getting close 
Inevitably, there will be times when you’ll be:
- Frustrated
- Disappointed
- Feeling guilty (see: It’s not your fault)
- Feeling discouraged
- And angry even.
Now you see why it’s similar to having a child…
On the other hand, as you progress, inevitably, you’ll be:
- Proud
- Confident
- Feeling ‘Eureka’ moments
- Feeling like having accomplished something big
The one thing that’s different from having a child is that you aren’t responsible if it fails
(see: it’s not your fault)
The method you’ve been following could simply be the wrong one, or not suited to you. Maybe you haven’t defined your why before deciding to undertake that long-term journey.
(see: the 3 pillars of French success)
Being able to accomplish something big means you have taken baby steps along the way.
Successful students – now fluent French speakers – have something in common:
They have all taken baby steps, without even knowing most of the time.
By baby steps, I mean things like:
- Not overwhelming yourself with information
- Sorting out the irrelevant/outdated/unhelpful information
- Defining your why before anything else (or face quick demotivation)
(see: 3 pillars) - Taking the time to reward yourself at the end of a French lesson that you found difficult (congrats for trying!)
- Reward yourself after an easy French lesson too, just for making time for it in your schedule
- Being open-minded when it comes to things that you might find strange in French
- Not feeling like you need to rush through your French learning programme – you might get somewhere this way – but in the long run, you will have forgotten a lot of it.
Baby steps is all about taking it slowly and defining your method.
It’s also about ignoring unhelpful advice (and there is a lot of it around the internet, believe me!).
Baby steps means you’re going to need external help.
Baby can learn to walk alone without any parent around – but it’s just going to take a lot more time than necessary. Much more time than it would have taken with a little help from a professional (mom and dad!).
Baby steps means you’ll need to come to terms with the idea that repetition means a lot.
After all, a baby doesn’t learn a word just because you said it once. You had to say it a lot.
A lot of input (listening to words and sentences) was necessary before the baby could use output (uttering words and sentences, then properly ‘speaking’).
Popular belief has it that you need more.
You need more words, you need more ready-made sentences to use in order to talk to French speakers.
However this approach (quantity over quality), though very efficient in the short term (travelling to Paris for a week), proves incredibly detrimental to your long term efforts.
What that means for your French learning
Another approach is: quality over quantity.
Let’s use an example here:
You learned ‘table’ was table.
Making the most of this one word is much more beneficial to your long term efforts than learning every single word of things that you find in a kitchen.
Those items you will probably forget because there will be very little opportunity to use them (unless you invite French speaking friends over and have them listen to you list your kitchen items: c’est une poêle… c’est un essuie-tout… c’est un frigo… c’est une passoire…)
[here’s a frying pan, this is a kitchen towel, that’s a fridge, this is a colander…]
Example of quality over quantity:
- Using combos like
ma table = my table
cette table = this table, that table
des tables = tables
beaucoup de tables = a lot of tables
plein de tables = plenty of tables
qu’une table = just one table
(see: French word combos)
- Je n’ai + qu’une table (just one table)
For this, again, you’ll most likely need some external help.
Because it’s a time consuming process to think about which words could be useful – for example I didn’t use two tables/three tables/etc for different reasons:
– it just doesn’t sound right
– it’s hard to pronounce (“trois tables” and “quatre tables” is almost a tongue twister)
– it’s not worth the effort, your time and energy
Sorting out between the thousands (possibly millions) of word combos would take ages.
Native speakers of any language don’t need to do that, as they are blessed with the gift of knowing it just doesn’t sound right. That means they know word order without even thinking about it – just as well as breathing.
Even Google giants haven’t yet managed to render the complexity of human language.
The ways in which French words are just not to be found using Google translate.
What if instead, you could just follow the plan that someone else designed for you – most preferably a French teacher or a French tutor as opposed to any ‘native French speaker’.
What if someone else had taken care of that insanely long job?
Before starting your quality over quantity French journey, make sure you download the free ebook: The 3 pillars of French learning success!
In the book, you’ll find more tips to not let yourself get distracted and unmotivated by poor use of unhelpful French resources.
Share in the comments below if you’ve tried quality over quantity before – and getting yourself to walk these first baby steps.
You might have been scared first… And that’s perfectly normal. You feel vulnerable – at first!
Tell us what it felt like
Don’t forget: those baby steps are only the start.
Next on your journey: an incredible, life changing – French experience.
End of your journey: becoming a fluent French speaker.
Do you vibe with this?
Is there anything you feel has stopped you from pursuing your dream of becoming a fluent French speaker?
Share in the comments below! 🙂